End of an Era

For the past few months I have felt like a part of me has been emotionally paralyzed.  As my friends sent their kids off to college one by one, I remained numb. I wouldn't allow the reality to sink in. My first born was heading to college and I didn't quite know how to process that an era was ending.  Now as we drive away from Portland State with an empty seat in the car, the tears are flowing like a river.  I feel like they've been building up just waiting to break loose.  

Our girl is more than ready to fly.  She's been dreaming of this day for a long time and I couldn't be more excited for her. She is a girl born for adventure and she has so many passions to pursue.  Yet, my heart is breaking.  All of those daily moments I too often have taken for granted, are no longer; the late night talks, the laughter, and the sibling banter. Then, I think of all of the things I wish I would have done; more girl nights, more talks, more hugs, more belly laughs.  How could 18 years go by so fast?  Could I have done more? Could I have done better?  

All those questions aren't going to turn back time, and I wouldn't want them to.  My heart knows that she is exactly where she should be and that it is time for her to spread her wings.  We've prepared her for this; she's ready.  However, I will let the tears flow because I know that there is no stopping them anyway. Today I will mourn an end of an era....tomorrow I will celebrate the beginning of a new one.

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